inside my own world

It is humorous to think about how inside my world I am. It is like everything I see or do has a custom filter I made for it.
I am having a hard time trusting myself because I am not so happy with what I see when I take a few steps back and see where I am at. I could make a list of things I don't like or things that are bugging me or where I am procrastinating, I don't think that would serve me at all though.
This is me energetically screaming about what is right now. Much good that did me right?

New moment.
I get to chill out. I honestly have a really awesome life. And a really awesome family. It is funny how hard it seems to get out of my funk today.

I am going to update on what I have been up to.
Personally I have been growing with my design business. I am almost complete with a portfolio. Kelton is doing so good. He is turning 4 next month and he amazes me everyday with how awesome he is. I bought him Candy Land recently and we played it multiple times yesterday. I used to love that game so much and now it is SOOO fun playing with Kel because I enjoy watching him count and match colors. He wants to be Samuri Jack for Halloween so I have got to get on making his costume soon before he changes his mind. John is doing good also. He is wrapped up in some business venture or another everyday it seems and still makes time between meetings to make me feel special. Peaches are in season in UT and I have been making some mean-licious peach pies. I should probably take one to my dad because he digs pie so much.
I have maintained the weight I lost earlier this year but I am not loosing more it seems. I wonder why I have seemed to plateau. I know I haven't been making an extra effort so I guess it is time. I am going to the gym today after work. Tonight I will sit down and set some frequency goals with my exercising. It is weird because ever since my bike crash I haven't want to use my bike to go to work. I think i need to get over that. Also I know I can adjust my food intake. It seems like every 6 months my metabolism slows down again. Maybe i get to do the Cleanse again to jump start it.
I am struggling with being a renter instead of an owner. Since the market is so "awesome" currently, houses are cheap! The only problem is the credit unions want 10-25% down now instead of 0-3% like it was earlier this year. I guess it is a good thing because the nation will get back on its feet eventually, considering some people should of had to put 10-25% and didn't. Oh well now is a better time to start saving then never, right?
Lately, I have been pondering about life and death and how sad I am that people die. My uncle Reb is so sick and fighting cancer and it just makes my heart hurt. Thinking about friends and Grandparents that have gone is a big reality check. My Grandpa Breinholt is 90 years old and I feel lucky my son can hang out with him. Thinking about how my own parents are getting older is frighting to me. My Mom called me the other day about some details they are arranging in their Will and it gave me super anxiety to think they they one day will die. The biggest heart stopper at all is to think that I will ever wake up and John won't be there. It makes me tear up just thinking about it. I believe I am connected to him forever but it still isn't a nice thought to think that we will one day leave these bodies and this life. I remind myself to make sure not to take John for grated. If we ever fight the thing that really brings be back to logic and sanity is how awful it would be if fighting were the last thing I got to experience on this earth with John. I love him so much. I know there is way things get to be and I can except that, I am glad I am only in my 24th year of life because that means I have a lot more to learn, experience, and hopefully, come to understand. Everything is going to be okay.

The morning grind

This morning I woke up to a semi-late alarm. It is a good thing Friday's are the one morning out of the week I don't have a little Kelton to get ready and drop off at daycare. Tricia came over last night and we did the schedules for the next month, then dyed pink streaks in her hair. (I just took a break from typing to text her about how it turned out)
Kelton and I had so much fun the last couple of days. He thinks Olympic Diving is the coolest sport ever. It is so cute, he watches with me and lines himself up straight and puts his arms out like the divers and when they jump he jumps off the couch and makes splashing noises. Flipping into the water is pretty cool I guess :) Not only have we gone on an Olympic binge but we have been drawing a lot together. We went and got a new set of Crayola washables from the store because his old markers were bunk. He has filled up his Ninja Turtle coloring book with "rainbow blood". We drew a poster the other day filled with random pictures Kelton listed (sword, blackbean, fish, chair, drink, dragon chewing bubble gum, little sheep lamb, worms, etc.) and once we paint it I'll post a picture. I love that Kelton :)

Anyway, I was grateful for his absence this morning because I was on AUTO PILOT. The thing that inspired this post is how amusing the gas station was to me at 7:30 in the morning.
I pulled into the 7eleven with my shades on in the dawn "shine right into your eyes" light. Found a parking spot though it was the one with a questionably washed out handicap symbol. Proceeded inside where there were about 8 of us huddled around the Coffee bar. It was like a scene off Animal Planet, a survival at the watering hole. It started with me fumbling around zombie like, trying to find the right size coffee cup to dispense my caffeine most efficiently. Then I had to wait for a guy who was reaching across the table and snagged the sugar before me. I noticed another person behind me about to lunge for the tiny vanilla creamers so I shifted my weight and moved half a foot to the right. About that time I scanned between arms at what kind of brew selection my trusty 7eleven clerks had out for me. My favorite "Dark Mountain" brew was just dripping out the coffee maker and I know if I tried to grab that pot I would most likely make a mess, a tragedy. My second runner up is the "Regular", not to be confused with the "Regular Decaf". Felling a little foggy, I could only see the coffee pot with the yellow handle, some extra energy "coffee on steroids", no way am I drinking that stuff. Just then I hear the clicking sound of a coffer pot making its way back on to is holster, behold the "Regular", just my luck. Seeing there is only about two servings left, my instincts take over and I snatch the pot up with cat like speed and surprisingly graceful lines (Olympics talking). I look up and give the guy across the way the innocent "Oh, you were reaching for this too?" look. With smug success I pour my, a little bit to hot, coffee and seal it with a nifty non-spill lid. Bless mornings. I complete my gas station excursion by sliding my card and having the cashier point out that i need to push a button on the little screen that was prompting me to except my price (not the first time that has happened to me).
As I look back now, I find being so human humorous but the coffee that I am sipping from was totaly worth it.

Love, Mimi

Painting Collaboration

This last couple of weeks I have been painting a fun picture with my friend Olivia, SO I am gonna share some pictures. As you can tell by the look on my face, I am having lots of fun :)

It is a Wednesday

This past weekend I have learned a lot about myself. What works and what doesn't work and the things that I control and the things I cannot.

I am in a good place today.

I am glad for this life I have.

Heavy chest

I have a heavy feeling in my chest today. In this moment I am gonna let it go so I can breath again.

I am enough. I am a creator. I am Joyful. I am connected. I am peaceful. I am worthy. I am beautiful. I am creative. I am a loving mom. I am an excellent and appealing wife. I share. I have purpose. I am passionate. I am powerful. I am healthy. I am Me.:)

That feels a little better.
Today is gonna be good.
I can't wait to paint later.

Love, Mimi

Bikes are fun, but you can still crash on them

So I wrecked yesterday on my bike. It wasn't a little accident it was a full on face plant in front of rush hour traffic. I now have a silver dollar size bruise on my chin. I was in 6th grade last time I had one of these. I am really thankful I hit the pavement out of traffic. I can't wait to get out and do some more "road taming". Man did I get a good work out. The best part is when I stood up after and felt like I was 7 years old, bless my inner child :) Kelton kissed it better though so I will be fine. Love, Mimi

Today is good, Remember?

I have a list of things why today is not going as planned:
Couldn't sleep last night
late to work
no breakfast
hair sucks
no makeup
slight headache
etc.....

BUT THEN I realized...
HECK YES FOR BEING ALIVE TODAY!

Thinks I a grateful for:
Batman
Kelton
180 energy drinks
My sweet loving husband
tofu
family
motorcycles
rain!
my phone
nerds
pasta
calorie counters
mini stickie notes
true friends
cds
baseball
windmills
my house
subi shark
grape flavor
being married to my best friend
paychecks
brothers and sisters
moms
Disney movies
the safety kids
black ties
bottled watter
avocados with hot sauce
miniature toiletries
good coffee
Alaska
octopuses
Ella Fitzgerald
bass drums
umbrellas
card games
sage
Mason West
fluffy puppies
beans
pirate monkeys
cuddling
excellent mattresses
coconut
my dad
lilies
honesty

:)

does it get any better?

"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called. ~A.A. Milne

Smile... because you can.



Love, Mimi