I am thankful for my cousin Jeni.
"My
dear cousin's battle with breast cancer ended early this morning. In one
of the last real conversations I had with Jeni she started to talk
about her children, how hard it was to watch them grieving knowing that
her declining health was the cause of their grief. "I want to fix it,
she said, the words catching a little in her throat, her eyes filling
with tears, "but it's because I'm dying that
they are sad and I can't do anything about that." She was quiet for
just a moment before wiping the tears, and saying, "But it has been a
good week otherwise, my meds are getting regulated so that I can keep
some food down and I am sleeping better..." I just stared at her and
then asked, "How can you be like this? How are you able to find the good
in every situation, to stay so positive with all you are facing?" She
answered, "What choice do I have? Sometimes I wake up and I remember,
and I want to scream, but I don't have the energy, so I think about the
blessings."
May I learn to bear the unbearable with the grace of Jeni. May we eventually find a way to accept the giant hole she left in our family, or maybe even somehow see the beauty there, as she would have."
Written by my sister Sarah. She is good at the words when they fail me. We will miss you Jeni.
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