Health rant

I constantly reorient and reinvent where I am and what I want.
Love, health, money, family, community... it constantly seems to develop more and more.
It is like my Compass finds a different north all the time.
I know I would like my body to be healthy and fit always. My Grandpa is in his 90's, it gives me hope I can live that long. On the other side my Grandma died kinda young.
I want to get pregnant and at the same time it scares me to death. I have been talking about it so much you would think I was already prego (but I am not). It is hard for me to get past my unease of not being able to carry a baby.
I have this huge fear of doctors that I keep trying to kick. Every time I go to the Dr. it seems like there is ALWAYS something weird wrong with me. Ever since I was little! I have a serious laundry list of random and serious aliments. I think my first surgery was when I was 2, bless my tonsils. Then broken bones, Scarlatina, Skateboard/bike accidents, Epstein bar, and "bipolar"/depression.
That Bipolar one is tricky for me. I was subscribed medication for Bipolar but I don't know if it was ever really written on a chart. I stopped going to a doctor for my mental heath around 10th grade. I realized that I would rather feel things then be medicated, it made me feel like a drone. I certainly have done a lot of crazy "bipolar" things (cutting, fighting, crying, shaving head, promiscuity, binge drinking) Currently, I figure if I am aware of that bipolar part of me then I can make different choices now.
At 17 I was hospitalized because I couldn't breath. After a week in ICU at LDS Hospital the doctors were still stumped on what was snuffing out my life. All of my siblings managed to make it too my hospital bed and it all felt like they were saying goodbye. (except Sarah who had to get talked out of flying home from Asia so to see me). My mother or father were sitting next to me pretty much the whole time. I had a really odd out of body experience in the hospital. The machine next to me would beep loudly if I wasn't breathing enough and wake me out of me half conscious stupor I was in the whole time. They would stick needles in me all hours to take test after test after test. I remember this sweet nurse who helped me brush my teeth, she challenged me to breath, one of my personal angels. Then the morning I think I was schedule to die, one of the many young doctors decided to ultrasound my back and found large pockets of fluid. The fluid was pushing my lungs shut and that is why I could not breath. They took immediate action and sat me up on the bed and poked GIANT needles into my back to drain the fluid. My 17 year old body remarkably recovered within a few days and I was sent home. They never really figured out what cause me being sick, or what kind of sickness it was.
Then at 20 I got to have a LEAP Surgery on my cervix due to precancer. I am really glad they caught it so early and everything grew back totally normal and healthy. It is weird how many self worth beliefs I had that came from my girl parts being "defective".
I just feel uncomfortable in hospitals and making appointments to go to the doctor now. It is getting better but I still have something inside that hates it.
I have always been a fun joyful person. I also before the age of 21 never really had any self love. I really did wanna die, a lot. I am glad I was never selfish enough to go through with it. It seems like my family had enough love for me to stick around during those rough times.
6 months or so after my precancer I got real with myself on how I get to change something to keep living. I am pretty dang sure my energy alone towards myself attracted such horrible things to my body.
Anyhow, I shifted into an open space to find a different way then I had been doing it. In that neutral space John crossed paths with me and challenged everything I thought I knew about myself. After some lifestyle changes and going through The Great Life Foundation I have really found, well ME.
After coming to know who I am, a completely authentic person, I have grown to love me. Since then I have decided to live my life instead of hate it or sit in limbo. I have created so much for myself and achieved some cool things (motherhood, connection, money, wife). One thing that really is an amazing RESULT for me though is, I don't really get that sick anymore. I had a weird rash once, random colds and the flu twice. In comparison to my track record, that is like... well NOTHING. Not to mention the whole mental thing, I haven't cut myself in years. My mental major "episodes" are far and few between and my frequency keeps getting longer. I feel good in my body. I love my physical host.

I guess this whole blog is stemmed from where I am at right now. I stopped drinking alcohol so my body can prepare for having a baby. I am on a Juice Fast right now, a 7 day one. This past week has been good for me physically, cleansing. Second to last day with without solid food. Go team Mimi!

love, Mimi

Kelton is freaking cute

The other day on the way home from daycare Kelton told me he has "issues".
I replied, "What kind of issues?"
"I have green issues." was his response.

This boy amazes me and and I am so grateful he is my son. :)
Anyway here are some recent pictures of him.

On his bike from Grandpa Neal

Trying to sneak up on John

Kelton and his Friends Serenity and Harmony. We just went swimming so everyone was in PJs watching a movie and eating popcorn.

Sweet stick/sword/wand/ax/spear that was found on the ground

John taking a picture of us waiting for the "green guy" so we could cross

This on one of my favorites!

My 25th Birthday Parties

I know it is like a month after my birthday but it is better later then never!
I had three birthday cakes. The First one was at my Mom's and she made me the delicious dinner and cake (referred to in previous post). Second one I got on my birthday (January 27th) A Tuesday night. My friend Kwynn came over and made me yummy coconut tofu and cherry goat cheese desert.

Then on Friday I went out to an awesome Indian restaurant near our house called India Fusion. Lot of friends showed up and we had our own private side of the place (including belly dancers). I am kind of bummed because I forgot my camera until we got back to our house after dinner. So after dinner, back to the house and fun time! Olivia made me a cheese cake with unicorns on it:

Pretty much we just hung out after that and lost of people came to play and visit!
And Nate and I busted out a little bit of Will Shakespeare, it was lots-o-fun.
Thanks to those who came and I missed you to those who didn't.


Love, Mimi

Here is an album of all my birthday photos:

Mimi's 25th Birthday

Love love loveee

To everyone :)

Today is my 25th Birthday

I got a card From my Mom and Dad with a monkey on it. Inside Dad wrote "Thanks for Entertaining us for a Quarter of a Century. Love, Mom and Dad". Quarter of a century huh? not bad. Then Dad asked me what I am going to do in this "epic' year and I said," Oh I dunno probably get prego and buy a house, and.." then he stopped me and said he thinks that is good enough. One thing I look forward to always on my birthday is my Mom making me dinner and my favorite dessert. (one thing my out of state siblings miss out on!) This year I asked for Lentil soup and falafel, she did a pretty good job and looked up some yum recipes. Back in the day when our Smiths store had a Golden Swirl in it, a frozen yogurt shop, they had a flavor called Cherry Chocolate. I would request a frozen yogurt cake every year in that flavor. When they shut down my mom would still track one in neighboring cities. This year she made one herself out of ice cream and it was deeelicious! Bless my mom for remembering things I love.
I feel so much love from everyone. I was greeted with a birthday song from the Denver Goolds and Shooter (the dog) this morning and it has been many birthday messages since.
And Bless my husband for being okay with me loving birthdays so much.
I really love my life and I am in aww of how it has only been 25 years. It seems weird that it keeps getting better. So cheers to me and here and thank you to everyone who is sending me birthday loves.
Here is a taste of my birthday presents so far (I feel spoiled and grateful!!)

Yay for nerd slippers!!!

Yay for green cute Nano!!!

Heck yes for tracking my running!!! even if I run less then Reagan I still hope she thinks I am awesome :)

mmmmmm italian leather

I am grateful for...

Monkeys
the color pink
V for Vendetta
pickles
halibut
highlighters
coffee
treadmills
trees
squirrels
the way pumpkin guts feel
marbles
crock pots
tangerines
hoodies!
toothbrushes
morning showers
Metroid
sushi!
feathers
hairbands
flowers flowers
authentic friends
teachers
music!
smiles
singing
my guitar
Vash the Stampede
my lover
spades
popcorn
burritos!!!
Kelton
Kelton when he does fish lips
grapes
TOFU
lentils
Christmas
MY BIRTHDAY (the 27th)
Meditation
my sisters and brothers
adventures
80's music
Hook (the movie)
Slate records
my COUSINS!!!
running
broccoli
Kelton when he cuddles
Subi Shark
rainbows
ants
unicorns
DAVID BOWIE
pandora.com
today

Yay, heck yes, the best way to start the day!

Love, Mimi

My new Gecko, Vash the Stampede

I have never bought myself a Pet. I have either inherited, was given or bartered for any pets I have "been in charge of" in my entire life. Overall I have had a rocky relationship with animal attachment. I have had a hamster (Cody was his name, after Sarah's crush at the time), a box turtle (Sparky) and a rabbit (Peter). The turtle was sick when I got him and the hamster died... somehow or got out or something (I was very young when he was put in my charge) and Peter was in the cage with the other bunnies (minus JollyGun) that cooked in the sun because of cage placement,I am sorry Peter Rabbit. I also got a Puppy for my 12th birthday, a small dog, some cockerspanial mix. I named her Larue and dressed her up often. She was a yappy but sweet dog and nipped at my Dad when he came home in the night once from a buisness trip. Then Larue got taken to the shelter. I bet she would have been a really good dog If I had trainned her. Through my childhood I pretty much became one care taker for the cats and our dog Carmel(Golden Retriver). I sure did love that Carmel Cream Breinholt. We got Carmel when she was a puppy for Christmas one year, I think I was five, she chewed my brad new skipper doll's arm. Carmel is in most of my fondest childhood memories, from taking care of "Chicken", having puppies, playing house, and letting Kristen Douglas bleed on her when I chucked a board at her head by accident. I was really sad when Carmel was so sick Mom and Dad decided to put her down. Other then that the only other pets I had were Guppies I aquired in 9th grade for logo trade work with the Utah Guppy Association. Guppies are okay to niglect because the just keep breeding. I eventually gave them to an ex-boyfried who fed them to his larger fish. Pretty much My heart breakes a little when pets go away so I have avoided getting any the last 9 years.
John adopted an Albino Lepord Gecko (Samega)(she is the brown/purple, yellow/white one) two years ago and she is awesome! I was wary at first because it fell into our laps but John is a super good pet owner. Samega is sweet cute and will let me hold her and cuddle with me.
Yesterday I decided I was ready to get my own Gecko so Samega and I could have a friend. He is Tangerine Tremper Albino (that means he and Samega could breed eventually if we want 'em to). He has long legs and is sweet. I named him Vash the Stampede (he is the other lizard in the pictures) after on of my favorite Anime charaters. I hope he likes his new home. :)